Turbulence, Tears and 13 Going on 30

So. I was on a plane last night.
It was one of those truly cursed flights: delayed five times, a screaming baby, and a couple literally breaking up midair. I was exhausted.
And what do I do in that state?
I hit play on 13 Going on 30.
Yep. That’s right. The movie that basically raised me.

This is not a joke. I saw it in theaters when I was six with my mom, my sister, and my brother Wolfie at our local AMC. I think I had peanut M&Ms because that’s my favorite candy. I left that theater wanting all the things: a dreamy apartment, that great closet, silk sleep masks, a spritz of perfume before work.
And a best friend like Matty Flamhaff.
Someone who looks at you and says:
“You can’t just turn back time. If you want to be with someone, you have to tell them.”
Wise words from a wise, fictional best friend.

Also, can we talk about the acting?
Jennifer Garner, Judy Greer, Mark Ruffalo. Seriously, top notch. I remember watching the behind the scenes on my 13 Going on 30 DVD (I watched this DVD a million times) and learning what the heck “paparazzi” meant because the director said,
“Jennifer Garner was swarmed by paparazzi.”
I didn’t even know that word back then.

And the soundtrack? Oh, the soundtrack.
“Love is a Battlefield.”
“Head Over Heels.”
“Jessie’s Girl.”
“Vienna.”
“Why Can’t I?”
“Crazy for You.”
ICONIC. Absolute iconic.

So here I am, 26 years old, on a plane, crying while turbulence shakes my Diet Coke.
The “Vienna” scene? Killed me.
When I was a kid, it was just a pretty song moment. Now?
“Slow down, you crazy child.”
Billy Joel is basically yelling at me through the screen, lovingly but firmly.
And honestly? I needed it.

And when Jenna asks her mom about making mistakes?
Forget it. Waterworks.
As a kid, I didn’t get it. As an adult? I feel like I am Jenna, sitting in that kitchen, wishing I could go back and do something differently, wondering how I got here.

Here’s the thing:
I really thought by now, 26, almost 30, I’d be thriving.
Spoiler: I’m not.
I’m still figuring it out. Still panicking. Still spiraling, but maybe figuring it out is the whole point.
Thirty isn’t a finish line. It’s a checkpoint.
And thriving? It really looks different for everyone.

Also, let’s be honest: the quotes from this movie are basically a personality test:
“Thirty and flirty and thriving.”
“I’ll have a Pina Colada, not virgin. Wanna see my ID? Totally have it.”
“Arrivederci, baby.”
“Matty, you’re my best friend.” / “I’ve always loved you.” (My heart.)
“You know what? You don’t always get the dream house. But you get the person who makes you feel at home.”
“I want a fluffy pillow!”
“You’re rude and mean and sloppy and frizzy and I don’t like you at all.”

Speaking of home…
One of my absolute favorite memories is the very first time I hung out with one of my best friends, Bryn Rhoads. We watched 13 Going on 30 together, got Razzles (because obviously, candy and gum), curled up on the couch, and marveled at how perfect it all was.
That night? That kind of magic you only see in movies.

So yeah. I cried on the plane watching my movie.
The couple kept fighting.
The baby kept screaming.

What 13 Going on 30 Taught Me (Like, for Real)

Being yourself is the only move.
Listen, Jenna tries to become this glossy, magazine version of herself and it sucks. She's miserable and ends up not liking who she has become! Her friends are mean! Her outfits are… kinda amazing, but spiritually bleak! It’s just a big sign that says: being someone you’re not is exhausting. You want the real magic? Be your weird, honest, lovely self. That’s where it lives.

The present is literally all we have.
Look, I am super guilty of spiraling over the past or panic planning the future. But this movie? This movie is like girl. Be here. Be in your life. The mess, the magic, the in between. Slow down. Take off the heels. Eat the Razzles. The future will still be there tomorrow.

Screw-ups are part of the deal.
Jenna’s sitting in that kitchen with her mom, full on spiraling, and her mom’s like, “Yeah, babe. You’re gonna mess up. That’s how you learn.” And it’s said so gently, it makes you want to cry and call your mom and apologize for how you acted as a teenager. Because it’s true. The goal isn’t to be perfect. The goal is to grow.

What you think you want? Might not be it.
This one hits. We’ve all had the fantasy: the dream job, the dream wardrobe, the dream guy, but sometimes you get it and you’re like, “Oh. Wait. I’m still sad?” Jenna gets all the shiny stuff and realizes it’s not enough. Turns out, the real dream? Feeling at home with yourself, with your people, with your life. That’s the good stuff.

Anyways. That’s what I learned from a very special movie with glitter and time travel. It’s ok to be where you are. It’s ok to not have it all figured out.
Take what you need. Leave what you don’t.
And maybe rewatch 13 Going on 30 tonight!

(Also, reminder: Razzles are both candy and gum.)

Much love,
Tallulah