Lessons from My Early Twenties: Embracing Growth and Self-Love

As I approach turning 26 this Friday, I’ve been reflecting on the journey so far and the valuable lessons I’ve learned. To keep myself grounded and remind myself of how far I’ve come, I put a childhood class picture of me in my living room. Every day, and every night, I look at that little version of myself and remember that she’s trying her best. I love me. I saw this idea as a TikTok trend and thought it was so sweet; it’s a gentle reminder that we’re all just doing our best at every stage of life.

Also, reflecting on the insightful book The Defining Decade that one of my best friends Sophia Hartman gave me, I thought it would be a great time to share some of the lessons I’ve learned over the past few years. This journey through my early twenties has been full of growth and self-discovery, and I’m excited to highlight the key takeaways that have shaped me. It hasn’t always been easy.

1. No One Has It All Together
   It’s easy to think that everyone else has everything figured out, but the truth is, everyone is just trying their best. Social media can make it seem like everyone else is perfect, but comparing yourself to others only steals your joy. My mom always says, "There’s always going to be someone skinnier, prettier, or richer than you, but it shouldn’t affect how you see yourself." Instead of measuring yourself against others, focus on being the kindest and most hardworking person in the room. That’s what you can control, and it’s what truly matters.

2. Don’t Beat Yourself Up for Past Mistakes
   We all make mistakes, and they don’t define us. The quote, “Keep your head and your ass in the same place,” reminds me to stay present and not dwell too much on past errors or future worries. Learn from mistakes and move on—this helps keep you lighter and more focused on the present.

3. Fall in Love with Yourself
   Loving yourself is crucial. When you truly value who you are, you’re okay even if someone leaves you. I’ve dated some real assholes and learned the hard way that you shouldn’t settle for less than you deserve. Pay attention to red flags and remember that if someone walks away, you’ll be fine because your worth doesn’t depend on them. Know your worth, and don’t let anyone ever make you feel less than you are.

4. Friendships Evolve
   Friendships can change as people grow and life takes different paths. I’m the kind of person who, once I’m in someone’s corner, I’m there. However, life happens, and things change. Not everyone will stay in your life forever, and that’s okay. It’s important to cherish the friendships that bring joy and support while accepting that some relationships may naturally fade.

5. Your Parents Are People Too
   I used to put my parents on a pedestal, but I’ve realized they are flawed just like me. Understanding this has helped me lately approach our relationship with more empathy and compassion. They are doing their best, just like I am.

6. Ask Questions
   Stay curious and never stop asking questions. Whether in school, work, or daily life, asking questions helps you learn and grow. Be open to new ideas and experiences—there’s always something new to discover.

7. Take Care of Your Body
   Your health is important. I’ve learned not to take my body for granted. Regular exercise, good nutrition, and enough sleep are key to feeling good and staying healthy.

8. When One Door Closes, Another Opens
   Sometimes, what feels like a setback is actually a new opportunity in disguise. When one path ends, trust that another one will open up. Embrace changes and stay hopeful.

9. Think Positively
   A positive mindset can make a big difference. Focusing on the good in situations helps you handle challenges better and stay motivated.

10. Never Stop Reading
    Books are a great way to learn and grow. Keep reading to gain new insights and keep your mind active and engaged.

11. Be Honest and Kind
    Honesty and kindness should guide your interactions. Being truthful and treating others well builds strong, meaningful relationships.

12. Push Yourself Out of Your Comfort Zone
    Growth happens when you step outside of your comfort zone. Try new things and face challenges head-on. It’s through these experiences that you learn and grow.

13. Stuff Is Just Stuff
    Material possessions are not what define you. While it’s okay to value your things, remember that they are just things. What truly matters is your experiences and relationships.

14. Travel
    I cannot stress this enough: travel is incredibly valuable! It exposes you to new cultures, perspectives, and experiences that are truly transformative. Whether it’s a weekend getaway or an international adventure, seeing the world helps you grow in ways you can’t fully appreciate until you do it. So, make travel a priority—your future self will thank you!

15. Forgiveness
    This one was hard for me. Forgiving others—and yourself—can be a real challenge, but it’s crucial for moving forward. Holding onto grudges or past hurts can weigh you down emotionally. Learning to let go of these negative feelings has been a tough but important lesson. It’s not about forgetting or condoning wrongs, but about freeing yourself from the burden of resentment.

16. Be More Mindful with Tattoos
    Tattoos are permanent, and while they can be beautiful and meaningful, it’s important to think carefully before getting one. Impulsive decisions in this area can lead to regrets later on. Make sure any tattoo you get truly resonates with you and holds significance.

17. Take Care of Yourself with Routines
    Having a daily routine helps maintain balance. It keeps you organized and ensures you’re taking care of yourself physically and mentally.

18. Surround Yourself with Uplifting People
    The people you spend time with can greatly impact your life. Surround yourself with those who lift you up and support your growth.

19. Don’t Live Above Your Means
    Be mindful of your finances. Living within your means and managing money wisely reduces stress and helps you build a secure future. This one was hard for me to learn, but it's worth it.

20. Avoid Self-Medication with Alcohol or Food
    Using substances or food to cope with emotions can be harmful. Find healthier ways to manage stress and emotions to maintain your overall well-being.

21. Volunteering Is Incredibly Important
    I’ve been volunteering for years, and I can’t emphasize enough how crucial it is. Not only are you helping others, but you also benefit yourself in countless ways. It fosters a sense of purpose, connects you with like-minded people, and often provides a new perspective on life. Volunteering is a powerful reminder of the positive impact we can make in the world.

22. Take Risks
    Don’t be afraid to take risks and step into the unknown. Life is full of uncertainties, and sometimes taking a leap can lead to the most rewarding experiences. Embrace the possibility of failure as part of the journey, and use it as a chance to learn and grow.

23. Spend Less Time on Your Phone
    This one I’m still learning. Lately, I’ve been going for walks in my neighborhood unplugged, and it’s been beautiful. You’ll never regret spending less time on your phone. Being present in the moment and connecting with your surroundings can be incredibly refreshing.

24. Celebrate Yourself and Your Friends
    Take time to celebrate your achievements and the wonderful people in your life. Recognize your growth and milestones, and make sure to celebrate your friends’ successes too. Life is too short not to appreciate the people who support and uplift you, and celebrating together adds so much joy to life.

25. Go Out of Your Way to Meet New People
    Make an effort to connect with new people and make them feel comfortable. At parties or social events, I always introduce myself to new people and try to make them feel welcome. Expanding your network and fostering new relationships can lead to meaningful connections and new opportunities.

26. Don’t Burn Bridges
    Whether in work or your personal life, avoid burning bridges. Even if a situation ends on a sour note, maintaining professionalism and courtesy can leave doors open for future opportunities and preserve valuable relationships. Treating others with respect, even when it's difficult, helps ensure you don’t close off future possibilities.

27. Dance, Watch Good Films, and Explore Art
    Don’t forget to enjoy the arts! Dance like no one’s watching, watch films that make you think, and visit museums to expose yourself to new forms of art. These experiences enrich your life, provide inspiration, and offer new perspectives. Engaging with art and culture can be a profound way to connect with yourself and the world around you.

As I celebrate turning 26, I’m grateful for these lessons and the growth they’ve brought. Here’s to continuing this journey with curiosity, compassion, and excitement for what’s to come. I’m still learning and growing, and I can’t wait to see where this next chapter takes me. Cheers to embracing life’s imperfections and enjoying every step of the adventure!

xx,

Tallulah