A City Ain’t Home Until You Make It

Moving to a new city isn’t always perfect. It can be super overwhelming. It’s standing in the middle of your half unpacked apartment, wondering why the hell you thought this was a good idea. Moving gives you a shot at a clean slate. Sometimes life doesn’t give you many opportunities to hit reset, but this is one of those moments. Whether you’re stepping into a new job, a new city, or a completely different chapter, it’s your chance to build something fresh. The environment you’re in shapes how you see things. Moving to a different place, even if it’s just a few miles away, changes how you think, how you live, how you feel. I think it’s good for the soul sometimes to have a new and different view. You don’t have to have all the answers just because you moved to a new place. Life is messy, and there’s no straight path to where you want to go.

I moved to Chicago in August, and let me tell you—starting in a new city is a journey.

if you’re navigating a move, whether you’re still living out of boxes or finally feeling settled—here are a few tips to help you make your new city feel a little more like home.

1. Get Comfortable with Being Uncomfortable
   Nobody tells you this part: feeling out of place isn’t a sign you made a mistake—it’s proof you’re growing and yeah, it’s going to be hard at times. You’ll walk into rooms where nobody knows your name. You’ll have nights where you’re lying in bed, staring at the ceiling, thinking, What am I doing here? Listen though—if you push through? One day, you won’t even realize it, but you’ll feel like you belong.

2. Find Your Places
   A city isn’t just streets and buildings. It’s the diner that serves your favorite dish. It’s the cute bookstore that you like to wander around in. It’s the dive bar with the best popcorn and jukebox, even if it has sticky floors (shout out to the one in my neighborhood). Walk around. Let yourself get lost. Some places will feel all wrong, but then you’ll find the ones that feel like home. When you do, you’ll know. You’ll walk in one day and just know.

3. Say Yes (Even When You Want to Say No)
   Making friends as an adult isn’t as effortless as we once thought. It takes effort. You have to say yes when staying home feels easier. You have to show up—to the coffee date, the slightly awkward dinner, the party where you only know one person. It can feel uncomfortable at times, but you’ll find your people. I’ve always been an outgoing person, so when I moved into my building, I made a point to introduce myself to people. That’s how I met Victoria on day one while my mom was helping me move in. She’s become a friend. Shoutout to Victoria—proof that putting yourself out there can lead to something great. We usually like to get dinner together at this cute little seafood spot here in Chicago.

4. Keep in Touch, But Stay Present
   Your old life isn’t going anywhere. The people you love? They still love you. Call them. Text them, but don’t spend all your time looking back, because if you do, you’ll miss the life happening right in front of you.

5. Create a Sense of Routine
   Find a routine. A morning walk, the same route, every day. A little park bench where you always sit with a book when you need to clear your head. It doesn’t have to be big. It just has to be yours.

6. Give Yourself Grace
   Some days, you’ll feel like you were made for this city. Other days, you’ll feel like you don’t belong at all. That’s part of it. Let yourself miss home. Let yourself feel lonely sometimes,but also trust that one day, this place won’t feel foreign anymore.

Chicago is a great city. Super clean streets, amazing museums, a lake so big and blue it tricks you into thinking you’re somewhere else. The people? They look you in the eye when they talk to you and are very friendly. Yeah, it’s not New York, but it’s a tad more affordable, which counts for something.

The winter doesn’t play around here though. It’s brutal. The restaurants? Great. The prices? Not as forgiving as you’d hope. Public transit? A roll of the dice every damn day. The social scene? If you didn’t go to a Big Ten school, it can be hard. I’m an extrovert. I like my people close. In New York, in LA, I see my friends every day. Here? It’s different. I’ve met good people, but I have a smaller community. I am lucky though to have a few childhood besties living in Chicago.

So maybe I’ll stay. Maybe I won’t. That’s the thing about moving—you don’t owe a place your loyalty. You try it on. If it fits, great. If not, you keep moving. You’re allowed to want more. Either way, I’m not stuck. Neither are you. If one day, the place you’re in doesn’t feel right—pack up, move on, try again.

I’ve had nights where I felt like I was drowning. Cried about paying bills, missing my dog Winter, my friends, and my family. Life isn’t about staying comfortable. I’ve spent a lot of time by myself in Chicago. Sometimes it’s real lonely, but I’ve come to appreciate it for what it is: a chance to figure out who I am, what I want, and what really matters. It’s not about running from loneliness—it’s about sitting with it and letting it teach you something.

While I was working and living abroad in Ireland, at one point, I had a few days off and decided to head up to Belfast. I fell in love with that city. The history, the vibe, the energy—it just clicked with me,but, man, I cried. On my last night in Belfast, my hair newly dyed all red and swept up in a bun, sitting in a bath, I just sat there, crying like I didn’t think I had any more tears left. I thought I’d never stop crying. I was beyond exhausted living far away from home working in a physically and emotionally demanding job. That’s the thing about growth. I don't think it happens when everything is great. That night in the bathtub, tears down my face, the weight of everything pressing on me, it wasn’t just a sign of me breaking. It was the moment I started to put myself back together. I think sometimes to grow, you have to fall apart first.

Take care of yourself. Be kind to yourself. On the hard days, remind yourself why you took this leap in the first place. You’re growing, even when it doesn’t feel like it. You’re doing better than you think.

So go. Try. Fail. Get lost. Make mistakes. Fall in love with places, with people, with possibilities. When it doesn’t fit anymore? Start over. That’s how you find your way. That’s how you build a life that actually feels like yours. That’s how you become someone you’re proud of.

(From when I first moved to Chicago. This is my buddy Chandler)

Xx,

Tallulah